Where to Begin?

 

I want you to UNDERSTAND what you are doing to your brain EVERY time you criticize YOURSELF in any way.

Like telling yourself that you are...

"Stupid!"

Or maybe...

"You'll never amount to anything!"

You fill in the blank.

What do you say to yourself when you are not pleased with your performance?

Whatever it is, this constant berating and belittling of yourself sets up the brain's computer system to REINFORCE what you just told it.

 

So, every time you put yourself down...

You become your own worst enemy.

 

This then turns into a Self Fulfilling Prophecy.

Being negative about yourself shuts down your flow of creativity.

It increases your stress levels.

Feelings of anxiety go up.

And much more.

Your brain then resists good things from happening because YOU have told yourself YOU don't deserve them.

Crazy isn't it?

 

Who would have thought that those constant, negative descriptions of yourself, contribute in a major way to you staying stuck.

 

Often people rightly teach you to not hang around negative people because they will pull you down, but what if that negative person is YOU???

You can't run away from yourself, yet you are pulling yourself down by being your own worst critic.

So, if you want to turn this around, start by quitting the blame game with others and start to look at how you are treating yourself.

 

So, here is the action plan:

 

1. Stop judging and being so hard on yourself. Know that who you are is not based on what you do. Like yourself and let the other go. You are worth at least that much.

 

2. Become a NEUTRAL OBSERVER, just like in any game of sports where there is a referee. 

Becoming an impartial judge means you will examine the action based on a different set of criteria, not whether it is good or bad. For example, a referee would say that a mistake was made, not whether it was executed well or poorly.

This neutral stance will keep your brain in the safety zone, allowing it to function and to not shut down.

 

3. If you make a mistake, don't revert back to the old bad habit of calling yourself nasty names.

Just observe that you made an error and do a course correction.

This encourages your brain's pathways to open up and find a solution to do it better the next time.

 

4. If you find it hard to stop calling yourself names, create a neutral phrase that doesn't have anything to do with the error that was made and replace the self-judgement statement with that new phrase instead.

So, rather that saying, "I'm stupid!" try saying, "The sky is blue" or "Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock".

Your brain won't know what to do with that kind of non-related thought so it will stay in the neutral zone and not reinforce the negative aspect that you hate about yourself.

 

5. Get creative and watch for the clues that let you know you're reinforcing the wrong negative pathway in your brain.

Clues like the tensing up of your body and facial expressions, along with the negative reactive thoughts in your head. They will flag it for you.

 

6. As soon as you recognize the old pattern is back, shift into a neutral stance, apologize to yourself, and speak out loud that neutral phrase you came up with.

The GOAL is to catch it faster and faster till your self-condemnation becomes nonexistent.

 

 7. Finally, start thinking about yourself in ways that are the opposite of all the negative put downs.

Learn to like yourself.

Love yourself.

And then learn to become your best cheerleader.

 

Side Note...

Unexpected new opportunities will open up for you along with new relationships because as you change your attitude about yourself, you WILL attract those that like the new and improved you :) 

So, go ahead, have fun, and learn not to be so hard on yourself.

 

 

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